Plot
Kanji Bhai (Paresh Rawal), a middle-class Hindu atheist runs a shop in Chor Bazaar, Mumbai,
which sells Hindu idols and statues along with his friend and
neighbour, Mahadev. Married to a very devout wife, Susheela, and a
father of two (a boy and a girl), Kanji is a hardcore non-believer and
routinely indulges in activities such as tricking customers into paying
huge sums of money for his statues under false pretenses, and drinking
alcohol while on pilgrimage. He also disrupts a local festival in order
to get his son away from the celebration. The Hindu priest presiding
over the function, Siddheshwar Maharaj, shouts at him and says that "God
will curse you". That night a small earthquake occurs in Mumbai, but
there are no damages at all to property or life - except for Kanji
Bhai's shop, which has been destroyed completely. Susheela, along with
Kanji's neighbours, tells him to accept God so that his misfortunes will
end. Kanji refuses, and digs through the shop's rubble to find his Godrej safe, which is still intact. Opening it, it he produces his insurance papers, saying that "no damage has been done".
However, the next day at the insurance office, Kanji and Mahadev are
told that the policy does not cover any damage caused by earthquakes,
which are classified as an "Act of God".
The insurance officer calls security to have them escorted out, and
Kanji, losing his temper, slaps the man, saying that it is also an Act
Of God since God is supposed to exist inside all living beings,
including Kanji. Without insurance coverage, Kanji attempts to sell the
land his shop used to sit on, but is told by his real estate agent that
there is a rumour going around saying the plot is "cursed", and that no
buyers have come forward. Out of options, Kanji decides to file a
lawsuit against God.
At the high court, Kanji is unable to get a lawyer, as none of them want the hassle of such a lawsuit. He eventually visits Hanif Qureshi (Om Puri),
a poor Muslim lawyer who was attacked and crippled by Islamic
extremists for taking Hindu clients. Qureshi agrees to help Kanji, but
warns that since he is bed-ridden without the use of his legs, he can
only file the case, and Kanji will have to argue it himself. Kanji
agrees, and together they send legal notices to the insurance company,
as well as Siddheshwar Maharaj, summoning him to court along with his
senior, Gopi Maiyya (Poonam Jhawer) and the group's founder, Leeladhar (Mithun Chakraborthy). Although a Guru of the Sect (credited simply as "The Pujari" and played by Arun Bali)
asks the three of them to at least arrange a meeting with Kanji and
hear out his problem, they refuse, deciding instead to confront him in
court.
During the preliminary hearing, Siddheshwar takes the stand, calling
Kanji a "fool and sinner" and saying that God would not come to Earth
for the likes of him. The insurance company's lawyer (Mahesh Manjrekar)
asks the judge to dismiss the case immediately, calling it a waste of
the court's time, but Kanji points out that since religious groups claim
to represent God on Earth and speak on behalf of Him, they are
answerable for his actions, and that the Constitution gives him the
right to take legal action against them. The Judge agrees, and the court
decides to go forward with the case. When Kanji and Mahadev walk out of
the courtroom, they are confronted by a large crowd, which is only held
back by Police Officers and court guards. Worried about the safety of
his family, Kanji tells Mahadev they should split up to go home and
check on his wife and kids. However, Kanji soon ends up in front of a
group of fundamentalists, who chase him with sticks and daggers.
Meanwhile, a handsome stranger (Akshay Kumar)
appears at the top of one of Mumbai's skyscrapers, wearing a suit and a
black overcoat, and twirling a metallic key chain shaped like a small peacock feather on his index finger (similar to the way Krishna is depicted holding the Sudarshan Chakra
in Hinduism). The stranger gets on a motorcycle, rides it off the roof,
lands on the road without any damage to himself or the bike, and then
rescues Kanji Bhai by lifting him up, putting him on the seat behind him
and riding away.
The assailants follow on their jeeps,
but the stranger manages to evade them after an extended chase, by
performing some seemingly impossible stunts on his motorcycle. When
Kanjibhai asks his name, he identifies himself as "Krishna Vasudev
Yadav, from Gokul". He drops Kanji off on a safe street and gives him
directions on how to get back home. When Kanji asks if he can give him a
lift the rest of the way, he replies that "My job is just to show you
the path, you have to walk it yourself."
Kanji walks home and discovers that his house has been stoned by a
mob, and Susheela is leaving with his children. Though he begs her not
to go, and his son refuses to leave his father, Susheela, fearing for
the children's safety, takes them away to her brother's place. Dejected,
Kanji sits home drinking alone, when Yadav shows up at the door with a
bag, declaring that he is "God" and that "Muslims call me a Prophet, Christians call me Jesus the Messiah, and for you, I am Krishna."
However, when Kanji calls Mahadev from next door, Yadav pretends to be
normal human being, and produces a document which says that he has
purchased the house from Kanji's landlord. Yadav says that he is a
consultant, and that he will be staying there for a while. He allows
Kanji to continue living there, provided he can use Kanji's household
furniture and kitchen for the duration of his stay. Kanji agrees. The
next morning Kanji Bhai wakes up to hear the stranger playing the flute,
and reporters outside his home asking for interviews. Kanji tells them
that he has no interest in giving interviews and sends them away.
The lawsuit hits all the major news networks and causes a public
outcry, with most people berating Kanji bhai and calling him "insane".
As Kanji and Yadav watch this from home, Yadav tells Kanji that people
are getting a false impression of him, and to rectify that, he needs to
talk to the media and tell them what he is trying to accomplish. Kanji
bhai appears on a program called "OMG", and explains that his intention
is not to insult religion or its beliefs, but to question the ways in
which people's faith is exploited and commercialied by religious
organizations. He also easily puts down several arguments raised by the
show's audience. The hostess of the show (Tisca Chopra)
herself admits that Kanji bhai has changed the way she views Faith. The
interview receives widespread coverage, and public opinion swings
rapidly in Kanji's favour. Meanwhile, hundreds of people, whose
insurance claims were rejected because the damages were caused by "Acts
Of God" show up at Hanif Qureshi's house, asking to join Kanji in his
lawsuit. With Muslims and Christians among them, Kanji bhai agrees to
plead their cases along with his own, and broadens the lawsuit to
include churches and mosques as well.
At the next court session, during which Catholic priests and Muslim Mullahs
are also summoned to the courtroom as defendants, they ask Kanji why he
is suing them as well. Kanji points out that since muslims and
christians are now present among the plaintiffs, he has no idea which
religion's God is responsible for which damages, and that they should
sort that out among themselves. However, in the session that follows,
the insurance company's lawyer points out that Kanji has no way to prove
that what happened to him or his fellow plaintiffs were Acts of God,
and hence he cannot hold God accountable. Kanjibhai is unable to answer.
The Judge declares the court adjourned, then sets the next session for a
date one month later, and warns Kanji that he will need irrefutable
proof that the disasters were Acts of God, or the case will be
dismissed.
Back home, Yadav tells Kanji to read the Bhagavad Gita, and that all holy books, such as the Quran and The Bible
contain answers for all of his problems. Kanji Bhai studies all three
of the Holy texts intensively over the month, during which time Susheela
returns to him with their children. At the next session, Leeladhar
takes the stand, and, in response to Kanji's question of whether he
believes the Gita to be true, replies that the Holy book is 100% true.
Kanji then points out a passage in the Gita in which Krishna says that
all of Creation is his own, and it is his will to allow it to grow or to
destroy it. He also points out similar passages from The Bible and The
Quran, saying that if this is what religion irrefutably believes, then
according to their own sacred texts, God is liable for the damages. As
he is finishing his statement, Kanji is overcome by a coughing fit and
falls over, unconscious. He is rushed to the hospital, where doctors
attempt to revive him but are ultimately unsuccessful, leaving him
comatose.
A while later, Yadav shows up in Kanji's hospital room, and places a
hand on his forehead. Kanji wakes up, and is told by Yadav that the left
side of his body is now paralyed, and says that it may be because the
heart is situated in the left side of the body, and he had spoken
against God from the heart. Yadav also adds that this was the opinion of
the people outside and not his own. He then touches Kanji with his
keychain, immediately reviving him from his invalid state, and as Kanji
rises from the bed, Yadav assumes his true form, revealing to Kanji Bhai
that he is Lord Krishna.
Kanji asks him why Krishna has chosen to help him - an atheist - and
Krishna replies that he shows no favouritism between believers and non
believers. As they sit down to talk, Kanji asks God why he created
religions, to which Krishna replies that he created man, and man has
created religions, and that if one were to attempt to lead them beyond
religion, then he would become a religion unto himself.
Kanji bhai shows skepticism at this line of thought, and at that
point Krishna reveals that Kanji has been in his coma for one month and
shows him what has been happening in that time: the lawsuit's verdict
was in his favour and religious organizations were ordered by court to
the pay compensation to all the plaintiffs; and, following that, people
have started calling Kanji bhai a "swami" and are singing devotional
songs in his name; in a press conference, Mahadev has told the media
that he saw a divine vision of Kanji bhai; some have even started
calling Kanji the eleventh avatar of Vishnu.
Meanwhile, Leeladhar, Gopi Maiyya, and Siddheshwar have opened a new
temple in Kanji bhai's name, complete with a statue of him, and they
have already gotten millions in donations. And today, as per Kanji's living will,
he is about to be removed from the ventilator, and thousands of people
have gathered to accompany his funeral procession. Kanji is appalled by
this turn of events, and Krishna, as Yadav, takes him on his motorcycle
to the "Kanji Temple" to stop the procession.
At the temple, Kanji walks up to the dais and yells at the crowd,
calling them idiots and fools. He points out that he had done all of his
work to stop events exactly like this, and says that "Our world is
beautiful, so why would God stay inside the four walls of a temple? If
you want to seek God, then seek Him inside yourself, and not inside some
idol made of rock." Kanji then beheads his own statue with a tire iron,
and tells the crowd to tear down the temple. As the mob grows unruly,
they blame the three pundits for what happened, and attempt to assault
them. But Kanji intervenes, and says that their true punishment should
be to walk away in shame. As Leeladhar leaves, he stops by Kanji and
tells him that faith is like an addiction, and will not let go of
people. He gestures toward the crowd and says, "These are not God-loving
people, they are God-fearing people," and walks away calmly, implying
that he believes they will all return to them someday.
Kanji approaches Yadav (who has been watching the events without
intervening) to thank him for his help, but is distracted for a second
by the crowd, and when he looks back, both Yadav and the motorcycle have
disappeared. As he meets his family and they embrace him in reunion,
Kanji notices that Yadav's key chain has been left behind, and is lying
on the ground. He picks it up and is about to secure it inside his
jacket when he hears Krishna's voice, telling him not to start believing
in idol/rock possession (after all the hard fought battle against it)
and that he should get rid of the key chain. Kanji Bhai smiles to
himself, then throws it away in the sky.